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For the last several years our family has been dealing with some pretty heavy issues. When that happens, for most people, there can be symptoms of fatique like loss of vision, loss of hope, depression. I simply refuse to live my life there. Recently, someone in one of my communities responded to someone else in a way that could have been read as the ultimate in giving up. I'm not certain what happened to me in that, but my anger towards depression (and all those other symptoms came flooding out.
The original question was, "Help, what do you do when...?" This was my answer:
I understand. Depression really is a part of this. I told you all earlier today that everyday is intense. Sometimes good intense; a lot of the time bad intense. And frequently there are situations that I just have nothing in my toolbox and no idea as to what to do. BUT I refuse to lose myself in this. I refuse to quit trusting God. These things are an act of my will and have NOTHING to do with my feelings. This is what I'm doing:
1) I have joined a gym, and I have a trainer. There is something about the gym and pushing myself to do the best I can do and seeing results that lifts me.
2) We have a good psychiatrist that is as concerned for my husband and I as he is with our son.
3) I pray...all the time [when I'm not working with my trainer at the gym, I have a head set on and I'm listening to praise music and praying for my boys, my husband, myself, my friend who is dying, and praising God (praising God...just because He is God...will lift you)].
4) I have been working with a website (www.happify.com). It is developed by experts and works you through brain (and other types) of exercises that helps build new pathways around damaged areas.
5) I make certain I am creative: I paint, I knit; I crochet. Creativity helps...a lot.
6) I have a home-based business that helps me set achievable goals outside the home.
7) I listen to books on CD and read encouraging books and my Bible.
8) Randy and I have a date night--every week.
9) I worship corporately in church every week whether I feel like I'm connecting with others or not. I connect with God in a more formal way there, and that is important.
10) It's Fall, and Bible studies are starting up. I will be involved there.
11) I rest when I need to. Yesterday, my trainer worked with me in very different ways than my normal way, and she worked me hard. I came home and went to bed. My body was tired. The same thing happens to us when fighting off depression. Don't feel guilty when you need to rest; just don't use it as an escape.
All these things REQUIRE that I am proactive.
This is better for my son, and he understands that we are all better off when I take care of myself. Having something else like these things keeps me Michelle instead of just a mom of an attachment disorder kid. It gives me the energy to fight the battles I need to fight: both with him and for him. It gives me the ability to be encouraging to others (which also strengthens me). God has a heart for the orphan and those who care for them. They are wounded...and so are we. Be proactive.