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I just watched a video about a couple who were trying to get pregnant, and had five children instead of the one they were hoping for. They were told everyone involved could die. They were told they needed to abort one or two to make the pregnancy viable. They took 'the road less traveled by' and found someone who would help them with this pregnancy; they made a lot of adjustments; and they delivered five healthy babies (with the help of a NICU). They are great...all healthy. What a brave thing! I'm so glad there are people who are willing to make hard choices like that. The story could have turned out very different--they knew that. Six people involved and one or all of them could have died, including the mom.
For Randy and I it didn't turn out quite that way. We had eight early miscarriages, and then God led us to adoption. We adore our boys. One of them has Reactive Attachment Disorder along with some other things that make it difficult for him to reason from cause to effect and process information. You can read all about attachment disorder; I don't want to dwell on it here, but it's sufficient to say that our life as we knew it just stopped.
This isn't just true for families dealing with attachment disorder. It's true when there's a death; it's true when you conceive five children when you thought you were having one; it's true when you lose a job; it's true when your husband or wife leaves; it's true when your child is lying in a hospital bed; it's true when a child dies,....
For me, the most difficult was the loss of friendships. Most people don't understand what this is. They think you could parent better, and "why don't you parent better by the way." They want to keep their children away from yours. I do understand that; there's a fine line between choosing not to expose your child to something that might be a wrong influence and helping him learn how to encourage a troubled friend. I'm not certain I would know what to do in that circumstance myself.
There is much I'm not saying here in this public forum, but no matter what your difficulty is--no matter who is standing with you or who is not---God is there even when you think He's not. He still sings over you (Zephania 3:17). He still watches you (Psalm 139). He encourages you to 'be strong and very courageous (Joshua 1:7). He is the Lord our God and tells us not to fear, holding us by the hand (Isaiah 41:13). He's not through. We aren't through the things we are dealing with, and we don't know the end of the story (Philippians 1:6).
I am a Believer in Christ, a follower of the Way, a Christian. This really isn't our home. It's a broken place, but since we are here, we can encourage others with the encouragement we have been given. With that in mind, just in case you don't have a Bible, I am going to print the quoted Scriptures below, but also, let us remember to pray for one another. Let us not compare our struggles, or say, "Life has been so hard for me; I have so much wisdom; I would totally have approached that differently; I would have done it better." We don't know. Even if we have a mirror image problem as another person, they are still another person with individualities that make dealing with the same problem different. But let's pray for one another--not just for one another, but with one another. Let's not just say, "We'll pray for you", but ask if we can pray with someone who is hurting. Then if we can help in additional ways, we can do that as well with the person's consent. We are not in this alone; let no one be alone.
With that in mind, let me pray for you:
Abba...Father...Jesus, I don't know the person who is reading this, but You do. You know their hurts, their circumstance, their illnesses, their loss. I ask you to place Your hand on them. I ask for healing, I ask for comfort. I ask for wisdom for difficult situations. I ask for restoration. I ask for courage to ask forgiveness. I ask for courage and strength in any situation. Someone may be crying here. Lord, I ask that any tears would be cleansing tears--tears of healing, release, repentance, or any other needed wash...but that You would comfort. Show us the way we should go. We don't know most of the time. Please guide us. Thank you for your Love. Thank you for my friend here...who I don't even know. I ask that You would fulfill Your purpose in their life. Comfort, Give wisdom, Forgive, ...whatever is needed. Amen.
Zephaniah 3:17 The Lord your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves.He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.
Joshua 1:7a Be strong and very courageous.
Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right handand says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.
Philippians 1:6 And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.
Psalm 139:1-18
You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. 2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. 3 You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue you, Lord, know it completely. 5 You hem me in behind and before, and you lay your hand upon me. 6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? 8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there. 9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, 10 even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast. 11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” 12 even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. 17 How precious to me are your thoughts,[a] God! How vast is the sum of them! 18 Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.